Lil’ Baby.
I was born ‘woke. Nothing to be proud about because it’s now trendy. Being born awake… is frightening. Children would see lollipops and superhero imaginary play friends… I would see MONSTERS. I would see monsters inside of people. The ugly truths they tried to hide. I wasn’t sophisticated or conniving enough to game my environment to my advantage. So my facial expressions would always get me into trouble. I would be distraught. My Spirit was… and still is… soft.
I come from a very, very, verrrrrrry Spiritual background. Full of Oracles, High Priestess Goddess Energy, Dark Magicians, and even a Practicing Voo Doo Priest who was The Villain to Our Legacy. All of it was mystical and confusing. I needed grounding. I searched for God. I listened intently to everything around me. The Asian side of my upbringing brought Catholicism into My Life. I followed instructions, got MySelf baptized, did 4 years Communion, then had My Confirmation at 13. All by MySelf.
My parents did not go to church. So I woke up 1 day in the 2nd grade and decided to walk to the end of town until I found The Church. I would get up every single Sunday after that. As I dressed myself, I would get butterflies. Father John was like a holy Santa Claus to me. I did this for 7 years. Never missed mass. I initiated my baptism late in life. You are to do it at birth, I fought to barter to have it done in 4th grade. I was very focused. The Church I attended was extremely stout in Its Structure and did not take short cuts. You study for a particular amount of years then progress to the next level. In the 4th grade I was ready for my 1st communion. EXCITEMENT!!! After that I was focused on Confirmation at 13. Which means you have right of passage in the Catholic Community. During 1st communion graduation, something occurred.
I was told by a nun that if I didn’t abide by every single rule… I was going straight to Hell. But then something in that… felt off. I was ruined on the inside but held it in and got to Confirmation 4 years later… but I felt empty. I couldn’t shake the idea that God might stop holding me down if I slipped and did something human.
I was offended.
So I left.
I didn’t leave God… I left The Organization of Religion… governed by Man. When my feelings got hurt, no matter how old I became, it was just like my facial expressions when I saw MONSTERS. An internal questioning coupled with disgust. I loved God, The Christ Jesus, and Beautiful Mother Mary. I even adopted Saints and Mother Teresa was my Confirmation Saint. They kept me company. So who was this mortal woman to tell my child heart that God could stop loving Me if I made a mistake? Wether I meant it or not. I was heart broken. 💔. It’s been a Journey ever since. My sister sent this photo of Us a while ago. My beautiful baby brother looks up at her like the superhero that she is. He was vegan as a baby and would crrrrrry when my parents would try to force him to eat meat. We wanted candy. He went out of his adorable baby way to make my mother scout this apple out of thin air for him. We were happy.
That is… until a MONSTER popped up.
My parents were young parents. My father figure had male friends that did drugs, played dominoes, drank 40s…. and once in a while….1 would creep in….a MONSTER.
I didn’t understand what that meant back then. Just knew I would get scared out of my mind. Like how come nobody else could see this monster… and what would happen if he got to me. They would tell me… “Miko, fix your face.” I wouldn’t. It was me, my true expressions, or death.
Life still funnily holds true. Smile, be popular, ignore the steel butterflies in my stomach & develop Crohns Disease because my intuition is constantly popping off the hook, or let the MONSTER know… I can still see you.
My Sister laughed and told me while everyone was always running around having fun, playing, being kids, I was always looking around stressed. Lol.
Life of a Hyper Super Sensitive Intuitive Empath.
I have gotten better at my facial expressions. I survived 20 years in The Entertainment Industry and never said a worrrrrrrd. I did what I was put here to do and when God said go…
I left.
Always me,
~T.






















































